memeroundups:

Way to ruin the afterglow - Sentence Memes { nsfw }

• “So if you’re done, I’ll be getting my clothes now.”
  
• “Think of this as a lifetime opportunity, because it’s never happening again.”
• “That can’t seriously be it…”
• “Is asking for cuddles afterwards really too much for you?”
  
• “Well, that was awkward and inadequate. But you get an A for effort I guess…”
• “Come on don’t fall asleep, let’s go for round four.”
• “Oh I see what the problem is… you think this is something other than casual sex.”
  
• “You know where the door is, you can lead yourself out. And pick up your pants.”
  
• “Wow, you’re a lot more attractive when you don’t open your fucking mouth.”
• “Yeah I know you’ve got a nasty streak, that’s why I tied you up.”
  
• “So I didn’t actually have a condom at hand but I was really horny and you were hurrying me-”
• “Look, I’m not saying you need to be loud next time but no one likes a silent starfish.”
  
• “Warn me next time you try a weird idea like that so I can at least brace myself.”
• “These handcuffs are pinching my skin, can you take them the fuck off?”
  
• “If I’d known how bitchy you were going to get, I would have gagged you.”
• “Shit… look, I was drunk. You were easy… basically, this shouldn’t have happened.”
  
• “Well that was fun, right? … Hey, come on, turn that frown upside down.”
• “That name you called out during sex better have been a fucking safe word.”
  
• “So here’s my number. And I’ll text you if I ever need a booty call.”
  
• “Are you trying to pay me for the sex we had?”
  
• “Of course I caught your name, it was… say, how about I fetch us some water?”
  
• “Well maybe if you had higher standards, you wouldn’t be complaining about spreading your legs for me.”
  
• “Get off, my legs are falling asleep.”
  
• “Don’t tell a single fucking soul this happened, or else.”
  
• “Yeah I heard what you said, was just texting my friend that I got laid.”
  
• “You wouldn’t be mad if I posted your o-face on instagram, would you?”
  
• “Listen, we can both bicker about who’s the bigger asshole or I can bury my cock in yours again. Sound fair?”
  
• “I can’t fucking believe this, to think that I slept with such a neanderthal-”
• “I think your neighbors heard the whole thing…”
  
• “Don’t tell me you pulled that out of a cosmo sex tip.”
  
• “Please don’t… spank me next time…”
  
• “Wait, you thought I was a virgin?”
  
• “You can leave now. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
• “I won’t take the collar off, that’s for good girls/boys who behave.”
  
• “Look, you kept rubbing my feet and it was kind of creeping me out.”
• “I think I need a long shower now… along with some self reflection…”
  
• “Where are you even leaving to, this is your house.”
  

Send ♏ to find my muse in nothing but their underwear!

send me 👌 if your muse would bang mine